Crazy stories and random things
I live in a Quentin Tarantino movie
Where to start?!
I reckon I will give you a synopsis and go from there, and then you can know what type of crazy stories you will find on my blog .
I'm the adventurous type.
I've driven 170+mph through Atlanta on I75 on Friday night. I've wrecked a motorcycle at 120mph. I've free-climbed the rock faces of the Cumberland Plateau and even fallen off a cliff. Canoed almost the entire the big south fork Cumberland River. Camped in some strange abandoned places and did things on a whim that most people spend months planning.
Held at gunpoint and been shot at and shot back.
Crazy bandmates always getting me into stuff.
Lots of parties.
Lots of sex.
I've had sex with a LOT of people
I've been in limousines with stars, and spent weekends with millionaires.
I've beach bummed it, met some interesting and crazy people.
I've even been arrested and molested by officers.
You'll get to hear all about that stuff here as I have time to add entries.
Disclaimer: none of what you read here is true 😉😉
When you try something crazy you might just get away with it, but you gotta pick the right car and know it's limits.
It was 2005 & My Dad and I were in Hoodtown and I was the designated Driver. I had at the time a 1998 Oldsmobile Aurora with the Autobahn package. If you know about them you know they will really move, but they were also prone to overheating problems because they didn't have a grill.
So we are out there at my cousin's house, KrazyRock they call him. Great guitarist. Dad had some Gin and then after a while he asked if I was ready to go, i said yeah, but I gotta put some water in the car first. To which Dad replied, " I'm tired of this bitching" and he stood up and walked out the door. And we looked at each other and tried to figure out what set him off, thinking he would be back inside in a moment.
45 minutes later he still wasn't back
We decided to go look for him, I thought maybe he was up the road at the family cemetery because he'd been known to go up there when he gets drunk in Hoodtown. So we pull out of Hoodtown, and go towards the cemetery as we look for my Dad. There was no sign of him on the road or at the cemetery, so I returned to the car and started to pull out and go another direction towards town. And as I was pulling out the sheriff's Deputy pulled in.
To be continued...
Hammer Down Part 2
So I pulled out of the parking lot as the Deputy circled around. I take off pretty fast but not fast enough as to look suspicious, but he was coming anyway. I got up to about 80 mph and KrazyRock looked behind us and said "he's coming for us". I said, "damnit, this is some bullshit". He said "fuck, look-it cuz, if you stop this car pull over by the woods cause I'm going rabbit, they been looking for me for 9 years, why do you think i don't drive? If they catch me I'm going away "
I responded by pushing the throttle down to about 3/4 of the way open. We quickly got up to about 120 as he looked behind us and said "he's still coming man, kick this mule".
I floored it, and within a quarter-mile I was so far ahead that his cruiser didn't have a chance of catching up. I got around the bend and started coming up on his road just as the car hit the top speed limiter. I pushed hard on the brakes with progressive pressure, and let off them and slammed them again as I cut the wheel and floored the gas pedal. I was sideways going 80mph as I crossed the median and the cop was out of sight, but the red and blue was visible in the trees around the curve in the highway. I had lost him I lifted off the throttle and KrazyRock said " Don't slow down now" so I got back on the gas for about a quarter mile, going as fast as possible on a 1 lane tar-chip road and whipped into his driveway. I shut the car off and he couldn't find the door handle. He said "let me out of here". I said "fuck dude, just stay down and don't move." He replied "man if you don't let me out of here I'm going to break the goddamn window" I opened my door, the light came on and he found the handle and we bolted into the house.
A few minutes later the cop came down the road shining his spotlight on all the cars on the road and then shined mine. My cousin opened the front door and waved at him.
The cop was pissed.
The next day I was back home and my Dad said " I saw you drive by real slow, then a minute later I saw you go by really fast, and then the cops went by really fast, then they came back up the road and saw me walking, and asked me if I was the one driving that car. 'I said I'm just walking man idk who it was but i watched the whole thing', and they gave me a ride back here"
That was the night I became an adrenaline junkie
Gangs, Crooked Cops, and Crackheads
I had been robbed twice in Pensacola within a week, and I figured it was time to get out of there.
It was approaching midnight, it was hot and humid. I was traveling with a friend and I really wanted a bed and a shower. So I got off the highway and pulled into a very nice looking Days Inn with an empty parking lot. I parked in the back and made a reservation and tidied up my makeup and hair. I walked around front and tried to pay for the room. I had mis-counted so I went back to the truck and got another 20 and went back to the desk. I was met by the manager this time, A foreigner... he made a big deal out of the fact that I parked around back, called me a low-life, and told me to get off his property. He was a total asshole but no big deal, So I went across the street and gave another hotel my money.
In the back of the truck was my motorcycle, a suitcase, tools, and some other stuff. In the front was a bow, arrows, a laptop, and more stuff.
We got our room, and went to sleep.
The next morning we found our truck had been looted. The cops weren't going to do anything, so we stayed another night to try and discover who took our stuff.
We found a bum, offered him a reward, and he brought back proof that he knew where it was, but he wanted the money before he would bring our stuff back. So we let him go, on my friends call, my idea was to gag him and beat the information out of him but we didn't.
I dressed up like a guy, nato pants, baggy black hoodie, baseball cap, black gloves, black stocking over my face and sunglasses.
I snuck out, stuck to the shadows and followed the bum around until I figured out where he was going.
There was an abandoned hotel not far away and that's where he went.
To be continued...
Gangs, Crooked Cops, and CrackheadsPart 2
So I stayed in the shadows and approached the fence around the abandoned hotel, looking for a place to enter, as I got close to the gate about 25 people came out of the shadows from every direction and started approaching me, I walked casually past them and around the front of a large gas station and as soon as I was in the light they all broke off in separate directions. I made sure I wasn't followed and returned to my hotel. And when I got back to my hotel I was met by the bum. He started approaching me and telling me he has anything I want, "what you need?"
Before he could get close enough to see that my face was covered I deepend my voice, reached into my waistband and said, "back up mofucka, I'm bout bust a cap in yo azz." He copped a plea and walked away. I went into the shadows and followed him. He got in the passenger side of a darked out 300M with 22's.
I took the opportunity to go back to my room, where I got fixed up nice and girly, so when he came back to try to make a deal he would be oblivious to the idea that I was the hooded black figure. They all wanted to know who it was scoping out their spot.
The next morning, it was bright and sunny. We had realized the only way to get our stuff back was in a thorough, direct, brute force manner.
I dressed in a super cute outfit and we were armed to the teeth under our clothes.
We walked straight through the gate, there was no one to be found. They were all asleep, or so we thought.
We split up and reconnd the place, then met back up.
Through several windows you could see various drugs on the tables in the rooms, girls tied up and gagged, men passed out.
Just as we met back up a guy pulled around in a tan SUV, claiming to be the Police, and told us to get out of there, and then from behind another man appears, a Jamaican. Threatening to seek the dawgs on us. Little did he know we had the upper hand.
But we didn't want to have a shootout right there, it wouldn't have done any good, we had no cover, and we were still not in the building.
So we left. And decided we would wait and try again in a while after we made a plan.
We got back to our truck and there were several city cops posted up in front of the gas station talking to the crackhead bum who was pointing over there and pointing at us.
Realizing that the cops were actually supporting their criminal Enterprise and probably on the gangs payroll we figured it was best to let it go, for now.
But nothing is over until I am satisfied